I don’t deserve…

 As I write, I’m sitting on a bed of luxury, with the sun
beaming through the window warming my face. This is the window I look out of to
see the beautiful San Francisco Bay. I spent an afternoon napping, relaxing at
a spa, and eating meals that I did not have to prepare myself while listening
to my kids complain about what’s for dinner. I have been treated to a weekend
of complete extravagance all because my husband took a small side job three
years ago that allows me to come along and enjoy the amazing perks.

Since our arrival last night I keep saying to myself I don’t belong here. I don’t deserve this.
I was snapped out of my thoughts when a gentleman in the hallway politely
asked, “Excuse me, do you work here?” After telling him no, I thought things
over again. I do belong here. I belong in
housekeeping, not as a guest.
The truth is I don’t deserve this. It doesn’t seem right
that while I am sitting in a Jacuzzi feeling the warmth and bubbles surround
me, my friend is driving her son back and forth from the hospital for labs and
chemo treatments and trying to help him navigate his new life with cancer. I
can’t help but feel guilty.
But I am reminded that this is what grace means and this is
how God works. I haven’t done anything spectacular or heroic to earn this
weekend, I’ve just been blessed by God. There’s really no other explanation. We
never know what life holds tomorrow, the next day or years from now. I could
become stricken with an illness, lose a loved one, or suffer in some other
The fact is I have and will experience suffering. But that
doesn’t change the fact that God is good and He loves me and wants to spoil me
rotten right now, this weekend. And so I am thankful, undeservingly thankful.
I’m thankful that I don’t get what I deserve. I’m thankful for all the ways the
Lord shows me He loves me whether that’s in a fancy hotel or at home in my own
chaos.  And in regards to “belonging” at
this lavish resort, who am I kidding; I am, after all, a housekeeper.


Back in March we had our annual visit from Joey, Brynn, Lucy, Mae, and Opal. Yes, I am just now writing about their visit, sadly. I have mentioned in past posts the amount of fun, food and good times that are had when this family comes to visit. This trip was no different. It’s always great to hang out and just relax with them. Although relax is a term I use loosely because adding a family of five to a family of six and then adding another family of three for a few nights…you get the picture. And here are a few glimpses of the shenanigans… IMG_1986  
Ayantu, Opal and Josie   IMG_2136
Brynn, Whitney, and a very happy Mila IMG_2030
Charlie & Opal IMG_2101
Preparing for the egg hunt
Jack, Charlie, Mae, Lucy, Coleman, Judah, Opal, Josie, Ayantu (not pictured: Evangeline & Mila) IMG_2160
Last night good times

The Grand Finale turns 4!

Josie’s not a baby anymore, although she may have wanted to be when her 18 month old cousin was visiting and stealing her thunder. She stays true to her nickname, the grand finale. She spends much of her time performing, which could be anything from cracking everyone up with funny faces to dancing in the middle of the dance floor at a wedding. Our dear little girl has more personality than all of us put together.   We celebrated with a swim party and tiaras, lots of family and all things pink and sparkly. She had been asking for a clock for three months prior to her birthday, specifically red. Well, I guess I should have paid closer attention to the color request because instead of complete joy when she unwrapped her turquoise clock, her brutally honest reply said it all, “This is not what I wanted.” She knows what she wants, that’s for sure. Not a day goes by that Josie doesn’t make us laugh or smile. She is a princess who packs a nasty punch when she’s mad. She’s got a sweet smile and an awful lot of sass. Life is never dull when she’s around and here are some of her latest thoughts on life: “I’m doing something that’s not allowed.” “You’re stinky, I’m stinky, everyone’s stinky.” Jen: “Josie, I want you to get your PJs on.” Josie: “And I want you to respect me.” “I just don’t like people anymore.” Jen: “Josie, come with me to your room. You’re in trouble.” Josie: “But his banner over me is love!” “Only mommies can say bad words.” “I know I shouldn’t lie, but sometimes I just do.” “I’m thinking about popcorn.” Jen: “Are you causing problems?” Josie: “I’m sure I’m not.” Jen: “You’re the best girl in the whole world, Josie.” Josie: “You thought it was going to be a boy, but then SURPRISE! It was a girl!” And boy, was she right! IMG_2893   IMG_2896   IMG_2922   IMG_2926

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